Sometimes, we forget that who we are is not set in stone but is rather emerging, moment by moment, by how we interact with our environment and the unfolding of the events. Sometimes, we get so entangled in the circumstances, that we forget that we can choose how we respond to them. And that this, in turn, defines us.
“Why is this happening to me?” has to be one of the most dis-empowering statements we can utter. When we take things personally, we become the victim. When we observe what is happening without identifying with it, we shift from helplessly reacting to being able to choose our response.
No one captured this better than Victor Frankl when he said:
“Between the stimulus and the response, there is a space. And in this space lies our power and our freedom to choose our response.”
One of my friends posted this diagram on social media last week - I wish I knew who to attribute it to. It’s a great tool for self-reflection - the three zones can help us map where we are and decide where to go next.
The fear zone is a contracted, highly reactive space. It is a dark, claustrophobic hole full of insecurity and loneliness; doubt and anxiety. It makes us act in self-protective and self-serving ways. This is a place where we are merely surviving.
The learning zone is where the rubber hits the road. Our self-awareness grows as we become more mindful of what we consume and what we spread around. We think and act more intentionally and pause before we react. It’s a place where our awareness and resilience grow.
The growth zone is a place of expansion. There is more clarity, more wellbeing and trust. We are more present and appreciative; we realise that we can find safety even in an inherently un-safe world, because of our sense of purpose and belonging. We are called to connect with our talents and use them to serve something greater than ourselves. This is a place of thriving.
“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. “ James Clear