The world today is no longer the same world it was last week. Even yesterday feels like another time and place now that the lockdown has been announced.
So what about tomorrow?
Just watch what our minds do with uncertainty – they fill the space with rumination, worry and the unintended rehearsal for disaster until we are completely hijacked into a fear-based amygdala response. This is our survival instinct, but it robs us of the ability to access higher cognitive functions responsible for logic, creativity and connection.
Our ruminating, anxious minds are making us more fearful by the hour. They make us do irrational things - like hoard toilet paper and pull all the flour, soap and Janola of the supermarket shelves (I will resist the urge to go on about this insane and inconsiderate behaviour here).
Last week, the anxiety got the better of me too.
One cancellation email after another, nearly $40 000 worth of work in the pipeline had vanished into thin smoke. All upcoming work was put on hold. By Friday it was all gone.
I was dumbfounded. I felt deeply anxious about the impact this would have on my life, my family and my home, as I am the sole adult provider here. I barely slept that night. And the next.
I was aware that I was overwhelmed and consumed by the existential flight/fright response. I knew that my prefrontal cortex was offline.
And so, I did the hardest thing of all – nothing!
For the next two days, I rested, finished reading a book, went for walks, did yoga and practiced meditation. I pressed a giant pause button. And slowly, I began to come back to my senses. I regained calm and clarity.
The world was still here, the earth was still revolving around the sun and hurtling through space at roughly the same speed as ever. I recalled the old Buddhist joke: Relax, nothing is under control.
I was breathing, alive, conscious. I felt gratitude for all that was still here – the things that matter – my children, my friends, walks in nature, my health. And the people I work with.
So here are a few lessons I’ve learned this past week:
Create some space. You need space to process what is going on, all the thoughts and emotions need to be experienced and digested "Do you have the patience to sit still, until the mud settles and the water is clear." Tao Te Ching
Reinvent – fast. We are a highly adaptable species. We are creative and we are smart. We can change - we have to! This terrible time is filled with the promise of new beginnings.
Choose progress over perfection. Prototype, give things a go. Make iterations. Begin. It won’t be perfect, but you need to start somewhere. Keep moving – one foot in front of the other. Winston Churchill once remarked that the only way through hell is to keep going.
No one has a clue what to do next – work it out together. I started having frank conversations with my clients and they were wonderful because we started from scratch – it was okay to say I don’t know, but let's work it out together. The beginner's mind at work.
We are all in this together – truly. Look at the map of the impact of COVID-19 across the world right now. There is no longer us and them – it is all of us.
Be in service of something greater than yourself. In times of great disasters, look out for the helpers – they are everywhere – doctors, nurses, kind neighbours, people showing restraint and self-discipline, looking out for their fellow human beings and working for the common good.
Be kind and maintain a sense of joy and wonder. I am moved and inspired by countless stories of kindness and generosity across the globe. I love seeing the viral videos of people singing together on the balconies of Italy amid the direst of situations.. I laugh at funny memes of people in self-isolation – their sense of humour is a testament to their inner strength. The brightness of human spirit shines even in the darkest of places. This morning I found this note in my letterbox
“We are a nation of practical, creative and community-minded people. We can do this together.” Jacinda Ardern said at the end of her address to the nation a few days ago. I believe her. Do you?
Let's be good humans - stay home, but stay connected. Remember, physical distancing doesn’t mean social distancing - we need to stay connected via online platforms and provide much-needed support and connection.
