The majority of people currently occupying leadership positions are Gen X or the so-called Sandwich Generation.
Recently, during my Mindful Leadership Webinar, I was deeply moved and inspired by the sharing of one such senior leader.
“Christine described the challenges she faced being the sandwich generation leader. She shared how she feels pulled between aging parents and young children; between the desire to deliver high output, excel at work and make things happen, and the need to manage her health and wellbeing and maintain balance in her life. Christine spoke about having a partner who was struggling with depression and the demanding relationships at work that need her empathy and presence, even when she feels like she has nothing left to give.
Dealing with these conflicting needs and challenges would often leave her feeling empty and exhausted, tittering on the edge of burnout. An insidious feeling of failure would creep in - feeling like she is not doing enough, that she can't fix it all no matter how hard she tries; that she isn't enough.”
I feel Christine speaks for so many senior Gen X Leaders struggling every day to stay above the line.
Here are 3 simple hacks you can use to create some space in the pace:
1. Breathe
Research shows that mindful breathing techniques can decrease anxiety and depression, increase happiness and optimism, improve sleep, strengthen our ability to regulate emotions, and reduce reactivity, cravings and addictions, amongst other benefits.
Why? Because the breath is linked to our autonomic nervous system – when you slow down your breath you are mimicking the state of relaxation which in turn actually activates the parasympathetic nervous relaxation response! You can read the full article on the neuroscience of breath here
Even a few minutes of mindful breathing can switch on the relaxation response and help you to stop unhelpful mental rumination.
The mind is the king of the senses but the breath is the king of the mind - Hatha Yoga Pradipika
2. Challenge your assumptions
Just because you think something, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s true. Next time you notice yourself entertaining a negative thought or feeling stressed or worried about something, ask yourself: “Is it true?” or even better “Is it a fact?”
I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened. - Mark Twain
3. Focus within the circle of control
Grab a piece of paper and at the top write down the significant change you are dealing with right now.Write down 3 things that worry you the most. What keeps you awake at night?
1. __________________________________________________________
2. __________________________________________________________
3. __________________________________________________________
Bellow that, draw a large circle.
The inside of the circle is the stuff that's within your control. The outside is of your control. Now write down what you can control about the situation within the circle.
Most of our worries are outside our circle of control. That's why they are so tremendously draining.
The prescription here is simple but not easy – LET IT GO!
Remind yourself that you can care still care about your work, your team, your family — without worrying about them.
I have previously written a post about embracing change and developing resilience. Focusing within the circle of control is one of the seven steps contributing to this.