"When I'm not thinking, I'm okay!"
This simple, yet profound insight began Byron Katie's The Work. She noticed that it was the negative thoughts that caused stress and overwhelm in her life, so she decided to challenge them!
The process she calls The Work is simple: capture the stressful thought and then question it. I invite you to think of it as a treasure hunt - noticing and naming your thoughts makes you more self-aware and empowered. Rather than just being compelled to suffer under the influence of unexamined beliefs and assumptions, you can observe them and confront them. The moment you become aware of the thought, you access the unlimited potential of awareness itself.
So to engage with this process I invite you to capture a thought that has been causing you stress. Try to name it in a simple language: “She’s upset with me.”, “It’s too hard.”, “I’m a failure.” Etc…
So the first question aware leaders ask when confronted by the limiting self-talk is:
1. Is it true?
Just because we think something, it doesn't necessarily mean that it's true. When we don't see our thoughts clearly and don't examine our self-limiting ideas and beliefs, they hinder our clarity, undermine our confidence, and limit our ability to achieve our desired purpose.
Asking "Is it true?" serves as a wake-up call. This simple question breaks the spell of mental rumination. It's the first step of becoming disenfranchised from our thoughts and realising that they don't have to define who we are.
Sometimes, however, the narrative is so compelling that we have to ask the second question:
2. Is it a fact?
Is this thought 100%accurate? Is it ALWAYS true? Is there another way that I could interpret this situation? Take worrying about the future, for example. By the very nature that something hasn't happened yet, it cannot possibly be a fact! Perhaps there is an opportunity here you haven't seen yet. You could seek an opinion or feedback from someone you trust to help you get another perspective.
3. How does this thought make me feel?
Does this thought generate energy and wellbeing, or does it make me feel exhausted and overwhelmed? It's pretty easy to work this one out!
Notice the effect the thought has on you. It's literally like being under the influence of a drug. We lose clarity and perspective and feel ill at ease. Notice what happens to your body when you are in the grip of a stressful thought.
4. Who would I be without this thought.
So if the thought is not a fact AND it generates suffering, if you had the choice, would you keep it or could you let it go? Who would you be without your stressful thoughts? What would be possible for you?
It's a bit like dreaming - it feels very vivid and real while it lasts. We are not aware that we are dreaming until we wake up. Once awake, we see the dream for what it is - just a dream. Similarly, once we wake up from the dream of thought, we see it for what it is – just a thought, a mental formation that may or may not be true! Do the work, ask the four questions and find a turnaround – a way of processing this thought that leaves you more empowered.