Start with the end in mind - S. R Covey
In our busy lives, we tend to fill the days with an endless stream of events, tasks, and interactions.
Some of these are urgent and important and they demand that we respond (emergencies, deadlines etc...), there are many urgent but not important things that take up a lot of time and focus (disruptions: emails, txt’s, people demanding our attention).
But most of it is not really urgent nor important – it’s just stuff that fills our days and clogs our attention. By the end of attending to all the disruptions, interruptions and distractions, we have run out of time and energy to focus on what is really important but not necessarily urgent. These are the things that give meaning, purpose and joy to our lives – learning something new, spending time with loved ones, exercise, meditation, etc...
Stephen Covey captured this with this famous quadrant in his bestselling classic Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.
I like this silly version as well:
Forty per cent of our daily behaviours and actions are habitual. Therefore, unless we become more intentional with the choices we make, we will be simply rolling on autopilot. Chances are that our lives will get filled with the sand of daily minutiae of emails, meetings, interruptions, distractions etc…
James Clear in one of his blogs asks this powerful question:
Can my current habits carry me to my desired future?
Without becoming intentional and putting the big rocks in first, our lives get filled with the sand of emergencies, mindless work and distraction.
The following story from Seven Habits of Highly Effective People illustrates the point perfectly:
One day this expert was speaking to a group of business students and, to drive home a point, used an illustration I’m sure those students will never forget.
He pulled out a one-gallon, wide-mouthed mason jar and set it on a table in front of him. Then he produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar.
When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, "Is this jar full?" Everyone in the class said, "Yes." Then he said, "Really?" He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. Then he dumped some gravel in and shook the jar causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the spaces between the big rocks.
Then he smiled and asked the group once more, "Is the jar full?" By this time the class was onto him. "Probably not," one of them answered. "Good!" he replied. And he reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in and it went into all the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked the question, "Is this jar full?"
"No!" the class shouted. Once again he said, "Good!" Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked up at the class and asked, "What is the point of this illustration?"
One eager beaver raised his hand and said, "The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard, you can always fit some more things into it!"
"No," the speaker replied, "that’s not the point. The truth this illustration teaches us is: If you don’t put the big rocks in first, you’ll never get them in at all."
Press purposeful pause and reflect.
What are the big rocks in your life? A project that you want to accomplish? Time with your loved ones? Your personal evolution, your education, your finances? A cause? Teaching or mentoring others?
Remember to put these Big Rocks in first or you’ll never get them in at all.